Steve has remained friends with several exs (do I need an appostrophe? exs? ex's?). One he considers a good friend of his and this bothers me to no end. I try, I really try not to let it, but I can't help it. She isn't nearby, they rarely see each other, I've never met her. Really though? I have no desire to know her. I've heard enough about their relationship and I don't like the person she was, and from what I've heard, I still don't like the person she is now and I can't for the life of me figure out why she deserves a position as a good friend of his.
I have one ex who I would consider a friend. There is one other ex who I might consider a friend, depending on the day (I won't go into the details....). Steve has met this second guy, as he was living in DC for a while and there was a group of us who would occasionally hang out. Steve hasn't met the first. He is not bothered by either of them and encourages me to be friends with all of my exs (when I saw all, it's not as though there are that many!).
The way I look at it, they are exs for a reason. They had a part in my life, they had their time with me, but now it is over and I don't know that they need to be carried into the future. Some might say that it is a good thing, to be friends with an ex, because it shows maturity, that you can move past problems and keep them in the past and move on. While I would maybe agree with this, it still bothers me that part of his past is also his future, because frankly, I don't want that past as part of my life. I don't want them visiting here and staying in my home. I don't want them seeing my children, holding and touching my children or my puppies. I just don't want them in my life. I don't think it is jealousy or insecurities, I really don't. I don't know what it is. He assures me that they are the past and I am the future, that he loves me and that they don't matter anymore, but I can't help letting it bother me.
So my question, how do you deal with an ex? Is there something you did to make it stop bothering you? How did you make it go away? Am I being hypocritical?