case of the ex

Are you friends with any of your ex's? If so, does this bother your significant other? Is your S.O. friends with any ex's? Does this bother you? How do you deal with it?

Steve has remained friends with several exs (do I need an appostrophe? exs? ex's?). One he considers a good friend of his and this bothers me to no end. I try, I really try not to let it, but I can't help it. She isn't nearby, they rarely see each other, I've never met her. Really though? I have no desire to know her. I've heard enough about their relationship and I don't like the person she was, and from what I've heard, I still don't like the person she is now and I can't for the life of me figure out why she deserves a position as a good friend of his.

I have one ex who I would consider a friend. There is one other ex who I might consider a friend, depending on the day (I won't go into the details....). Steve has met this second guy, as he was living in DC for a while and there was a group of us who would occasionally hang out. Steve hasn't met the first. He is not bothered by either of them and encourages me to be friends with all of my exs (when I saw all, it's not as though there are that many!).

The way I look at it, they are exs for a reason. They had a part in my life, they had their time with me, but now it is over and I don't know that they need to be carried into the future. Some might say that it is a good thing, to be friends with an ex, because it shows maturity, that you can move past problems and keep them in the past and move on. While I would maybe agree with this, it still bothers me that part of his past is also his future, because frankly, I don't want that past as part of my life. I don't want them visiting here and staying in my home. I don't want them seeing my children, holding and touching my children or my puppies. I just don't want them in my life. I don't think it is jealousy or insecurities, I really don't. I don't know what it is. He assures me that they are the past and I am the future, that he loves me and that they don't matter anymore, but I can't help letting it bother me.

So my question, how do you deal with an ex? Is there something you did to make it stop bothering you? How did you make it go away? Am I being hypocritical?

says who?

This morning, I left for work as usual. I walked out my door and a few blocks down to where I pick up the bus. Some days I walk (it’s a 10-15 minute walk to the metro), some days, if I see the bus coming (like today), I will stand and wait for it. Last night on my way home, my metro card went negative, so I used exact change on the bus, rather than swiping my smart trip card. I got on the bus and walked back and grabbed the pole. As I did, a woman stood up from her seat and offered it to me. I politely thanked her and declined, as I am only on the bus for a few minutes and didn’t need to sit. She complimented me on my coat. I thanked her. She then asked me if I could help her out. Now realizing where all of this was going, I apologized and said I had no change. I even went so far to say that I had just put all my change into the meter when getting on the bus, to pay my fare. She began to mutter under her breath, as they always do, and I said nothing back.

Quickly, she began talking about the Bible. She talked about how the Bible says “thou shall not steal.” From there, she asked what people who have nothing are supposed to do, because when you have nothing, you have to steal, in order to get something. This woman was standing behind me at this point, she hadn’t sat back down.

There was another woman who was sitting to my right, up a row or two from where I was. She (along with everyone else on the bus) could hear this lady and replied to her saying “you need to learn to help yourself.” This was all that the first lady needed. The two of them began to go back and forth about who helps who out and whose responsibility it is. Lady 1 clearly expected a handout, while lady 2 repeatedly said that you are your own primary responsibility and nobody else’s. This is where it began to get ugly.

I am not sure where it came from, but lady 1 then began threatening lady 2, saying she’d shoot her with her gun and kill her. Lady 2 laughed, saying that would never happen, only encouraging lady 1, who then went on and on about shooting her and then stabbing her repeatedly, to be sure she was dead. Lady 1 even swore on her mother's grave that she'd get lady 2.

By now, they were both speaking loudly and the entire bus was listening to the conversation. Most people, including the bus driver, were actually laughing at the exchange. Me? I was a bit nervous. Maybe it seems silly of me, but really? How was I to know that either lady, or anyone else, didn’t have a gun or a knife in their bag? They could have easily pulled it out and things would have gotten far worse. I was standing between the two, so if either lunged at the other, there I was.

My thoughts, as I got off the bus and headed to the Eastern Market metro, was why didn’t anyone say something to either of them? Granted, yes, I stayed silent, but should someone say something? Should the bus driver asked one or both of them to get off the bus? Would you have said something?

I was glad I got off the bus when I did, but the 90 bus has a long ride down 8th St. into Anacostia…

Global Playground, Evening Under the Stars

If you are in DC, please come to THIS event tomorrow (FRIDAY) night! It's a great event for a great organization, and best yet, I'll be there :)


Download the flyer
washington dc 2009
Global Playground invites you to join us for a round of drinks and appetizers to celebrate our school projects in Uganda, Cambodia, and Thailand! Come and learn about our work in Africa and Southeast Asia, find out how you can get involved, meet the board members, and enjoy an evening under the stars with your friends!
Friday, March 27, 2009 (5-8pm)Dupont Circle $20 at the door (open bar + appetizers)

William & Mary DC Office
Carnegie Endowment for International Peace
1779 Massachusetts Ave, NW (at 18th Street)
Washington, DC 20036
Download the flyer(PDF)
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last update January 22, 2009 questions? contact us...

snack attack

Are you a snacker? I realize that I've become one as of late, when I am at work. This may be a new thing though...when I worked at the Congressman's office, I didn't snack. The two jobs following, I didn't snack. The last job and this one? Oh yes. I snack. Currently, in my desk drawer, there is a bag of Cadbury mini eggs. Love them.

This is not good for me, I am well aware. I do drink a lot of water, usually at least three liters a day, but I don't know if it balances out enough. So if I must continue to snack, what I should I go for? Are you a snacker and if so, what is your guilty pleasure?

let's get this party started

I have loud upstairs neighbors. This is nothing new; they’ve been loud for a long time, but I think it really drove me nuts when they decided to have a party last night from 11pm-1am, complete with loud, pounding music that made my walls vibrate. I could hear several people up there, talking loudly and laughing. Now, I live in a studio and the apartment above me is the same size. I know that when even one person is over, it’s a bit ridiculous, because of the small size, so I can’t imagine how they had so many. Does this person upstairs not have a bed??? I called and left a message at the rental office (yes, at 11:45pm) and called again this morning and spoke to someone, asking them to please ask this person to be considerate of their neighbors. I wasn’t about to walk up there last night and knock on the door. What if the masked gunman lives there?

Was this wrong of me, to call and complain like that? Like I said, this noise factor has been going on for quite some time and this is the first time I’ve said something about it. I don’t think I am being too sensitive about it, as it was a Tuesday and midnight. There are older people in my building, that I am sure don’t appreciate it either. What would you have done?

moving right along

So last night I left my office at 5:15, as usual. I had to go to the MLK Library at Chinatown to return a few books and get a few more. So from there, I redlined to Union Station and took the bus home from there. When I walked up to my building, I saw two police cars to the left of the building with the lights flashing. I didn't think too much of it. I walked up to the front door of the building and saw a police officer standing there, on his walkie talkie. I would have asked him what was happening, but he was walkieing. So, inside I went. I checked my mail, went upstairs, took off my coat, etc. I turned on my laptop and once I checked my email, I found the following message from the DC Alert System-

Police Alert-ROBBERY HOLD UP GUN____ BLOCK OF ____ ST NE. LOF B/M SKI MASK BLACK JACKET SHORT HAIR CUT DO NOT TAKE ACTION CALL 911 W/EVENT #i2009146061Sent by DC Police Alert to e-mail, pagers, cell phones....powered by Cooper Notification RSAN


There was an armed robbery on my block!!! I live on Capitol Hill!!! Yes, I know this can happen anywhere, I am not so naive to think that anywhere is immune, but really? In the nearly five years I've been in DC and almost four in this apartment, I have never, ever had a problem or seen something happen.

Maybe it's time to move?

here comes the bride

How long do you think an engagement should be, in reality? More then a year? Around a year? Less then a year? Could you pull off a wedding in less then six months and still be happy?

I’m not engaged (yeah, you knew that!). I was looking at the website for the place I am currently loving for a reception venue, and the list the available dates on the site. It turns out that Sunday, September 20, 2009 is still available, so I may have mentioned to Steve that if he wanted to propose likerightnow, we could get married then (he didn’t propose, obviously). I was telling a friend of mine this (who is engaged and getting married in October) and she said that there is no way I could pull this off because (mainly) I couldn’t find a dress in this amount of time and would need to buy off the rack (the horrors!). She thought I might not enjoy it as much, because I wouldn’t have all of the things I wanted, because there just wasn’t enough time.

So dear friends, what do you think? Would you be happy to plan a wedding in less then six months? How long was your engagement? Would you have wanted more or less time? Thoughts?

P.S. This is in no means being to belittling to any brides in the least! I’m sure I’d probably want more then six months, but I just think I could do it in less. Granted, I am not planning a wedding, so I could be way off :)

prom dresses?

Totally random-

Do you know of the organizations where you can donate old prom dresses and other formal gowns? I remember hearing about one here in DC where your old gowns would be donated to local high schools where girls who may not be able to afford them could choose one for their prom. Sometimes they are called Glass Slipper Projects or Cinderella Projects, things like that. 

I've tried googling and not much is coming up, other then one in Chicago. I also found one in NH, as well as other states, but I thought it might be nice to stay local. I have a few dresses that I will not be wearing again and it might be a good idea to donate them. I'm sure I could bring them to the Salvation Army or the like, but this might be easier. 

Anyone know of anything?

how's that for inspiration?

So I recently came across someone really fabulous. A little girl in Ohio named Hannah. A few years ago, Hannah and her mother were serving food at a soup kitchen in Toledo and she saw a man whose shoes had split and wasn't wearing socks. She wanted to give him her own socks. Soon after, she began collecting socks to hand out in homeless shelters.

So far this year, Hannah's group called Hannah's Socks has collected 24,642 pairs of socks with a goal to collect 60,000.

Did I mention that she is nine years old?

I know that I talk about things I'd like to do, but I am the first to admit that I have awful follow through when it comes to my ideas. With the exception of World Vision, I haven't done a very good job of sticking to something. I've found all sorts of organizations that I admire, places I'd like to volunteer, etc. I'm just finding it refreshing that this little girl is actually doing something, unlike me, who just talks about it. There was an article in People magazine recently, which is actually where I learned about Hannah. She also has a facebook page.

I know that everyone talks so much about how awful the economy is right now, and I can't say that I don't complain as well, but I think that it's good to remember that there are people out there who are worse off then I am. I have a drawer full of socks, most of which I never wear. I decided to donate $10 a month for the next 12 months to Hannah's Socks. Perhaps also, when I go into Target, I will pick up a few packages of socks to be mailed to Cincinnati.

Really, it's the least I can do.

when Irish eyes are smiling

Happy St. Patrick's Day! Since it's nearly over and I am home eating dinner (and okay with that, might I add), I thought I'd wish you a happy day. I actually celebrated over the weekend with some of my favorite people. We went to a winery (shocking, I know, I never go to wineries!) calledChateau O'Brien, which is way out on I-66, in a really lovely spot.

I'll share a few pictures of the fun.

See the food photos? They had corned beef and cabbage, Irish stew, Sheppards pie, Irish cheeses and bread...but best of all- GUINNESS CHEESECAKE!!! Yes, it was as amazing as it sounds, and I must find a recipe. They were tiny little tart, so it was okay to eat about 30 of them, right? Okay, I didn't have that many...but I wouldn't have minded, ha!


See the picture of me holding the wine glass and a tiny green plastic mug? They were hiding those all over the winery with prizes inside. I found a ticket inside mine saying that I had won a free glass of wine! They had an apple wine that was fabulous.


See the picture of the case of wine bottles? They were doing a deal where if you bought a case, you were entered into a drawing to win a free week at a cottage at the Outer Banks in NC. There were eight of us there, so we all went in together! It was a four bedroom cottage, so it would have been fine. No word on winning yet, but my fingers are crossed!


How was your St. Pats? What did you do to celebrate?

discussion du jour

Here is an article I just read in one of the NH newspapers I read. Read it, and share your thoughts.

This just makes me so sad. I find it so ironic that they are saying that libraries are not essential in today's economy. Frankly, I find it even more so! Right now, people don't have the extra cash to stop by Borders and buy new books, so they'll get them at the library! If the book they want isn't available, they will add their name to the wait list. Libraries also have resources for job seekers; job postings, internet access and other useful tools. Why wouldn't you want to learn something new every day and what better place to do so, then your local library?

Are libraries becoming obsolete and an unessential service? Do they intimidate you? Or, are you a proud and happy library user, where you will someday take your children to, and teach them all the wonderful aspects of your pocal public library?

***12:30pm edit-

Take a look at this and just try to convince me that places this amazing shouldn't exist! go on, I dare you!

one of those days

I stayed home from work today. It wasn't that was close to my deathbed or the like, but when I woke up this morning so exhausted that I could barely open my eyes, I knew it wasn't a good omen for the day. I had also been up much of the night with a splitting headache, so I knew I wasn't going to be terribly productive. So, at 7:15am, I called our office manager (she gets in at 7am) and let her know I was sick. Normally this would suffice, but my office has this policy where in addition to calling in, I need to also speak with my supervisor to get permission to stay home sick. So, I went back to bed for two hours and then called her and got permission to be sick. Does that seem strange to anyone else? I've never heard of such a thing.

I did nothing all day, nothing of substance anyway. I slept a lot. I read Jodi Picoult's Vanishing Acts. I listed five Vera Bradley bags on ebay that I never use. I read the new Martha Stewart Everyday Food that arrived in my mailbox. I wrote out a birthday card. I reminded myself to get St. Patricks Day cards tomorrow. I found a five dollar bill in a shoe (yeah, I don't know either). I made muffins (by made muffins, I mean that I used one of those mixes where you add half a cup of water to the mix). Steve came by with orange juice and some pretty pink flowers, so that was nice.

How was your Thursday? Plans for the weekend?

contain this

Do people still have tupperware parties at home? I remember my mother going to them when I was very small, but I haven't heard anyone actually going to a tupperware event in years! Now it's all Pampered Chef, Mary Kay, Lia Sophia, Slumber Party by someone, Partylite candles, etc.

What's your favorite at-home buy-something-party?

you've got to be kidding me

Apparently I just spent the better part of my weekend writing a 15 page section of a 60 page group paper on the wrong topic. I was going by what we handed in to the professor as our outline, but somehow along the way, my group changed topics and I missed the memo.

Oh yeah, and it's due Wednesday.

Awesome.

roam if you want to, roam around the world

Have you ever gone away by yourself, either for just a short weekend or a week-long trip? I am so in need of a vacation, and maybe a little quiet time to myself might be nice. 

Pretty much everything is getting on my nerves right now and I need to figure out how to make this funk that has taken over my life go away and stay away. 

berry lemony fresh!

If you totally loved me and wanted to make my day, you could buy me this or this.

Both would be so adorable in my little kitchen!

girls vs. boys

Anyone want to come over and help me write a paper on gender disparity in education in Uganda? Anyone know anything about the topic?

Me, not so much...boooo!

when will it be me?

Two more friends became engaged in the past two days.

Meaning two separate friends were proposed to by their boyfriends, two separate couples who don't know each other.

Why am I not engaged?

Sigh.

on ways I love my library

So as I mentioned in my previous post, I had a bit of an overdue fine at my library. You know me, I love libraries...I just don't always remember to return the books in time! In this case, it was two books that had slid under my bed and remained there for several months before I realized it. Oooops.

I stopped at the Southeast branch on my way home from work today (love Eastern Market!) and had planned to pay part of it. I knew the fine was a bit, um, high, but I wasn't sure what it was exactly. I had some cash, could have used my debit card, didn't have my checkbook with me (does anyone still write many checks these days?). Turns out, my fine was $70. Ooops. I had $35 in cash, they didn't take debits. The librarian looked at my record and told me she'd waive the rest of the fine! Woo hoo!

New self-imposed rule: Lexi, until you are a good library patron again, you may borrow no more then three books at once.

pot 'o jumbles

• I've spent the morning taking pictures of a board meeting, where four of the members didn't arrive, due to the "inclement" weather we are experiencing
• I was up way too late last night, mostly due to my outrage at The Bachelor. Molly should have told him she was over him and was no with something else. That would have been SO much better!
• I almost got locked inside the U.S. Botanical Gardens last week
• I fell in love with another corgi, this one called Clara. By the time I emailed the shelter (she was in Altoona, PA), she'd been adopted. Yes, I tried calling too. Boooo. I need to stop looking for corgis, because I never get the one I want
• there is a dog adoption event at a nearby winery this weekend. It's on my schedule
• I love Milky Way Darks
• I wish it had really snowed yesterday. Like, really snowed.
• I need to pay my overdue fine to the DC Public Library