here comes the bride

No, it's not me.

My sister is engaged, and has been since late January, and yes, I am just now talking about it. I'll be 100% honest. Of course, I was thrilled for her, but I did not have the best reaction to her news. Here's the thing. She's my younger sister, by four years. Steve and I have been together for longer than she's known her fiance. I think it is perfectly natural for the older sister to feel like she should get married first, right? Right.

I had a few days of misery, and then I got over it. Something in my head snapped, and I realized that I was being ridiculous, and then I was happy for her. Really happy. She's happy, and that is what matters the most, right? Right.

As I said to her, this means that when I get married, she will have to be the matron of honor, which sounds much older and fuddy-duddy ish than maid of honor, I think ;)

Right, so as maid of honor, I have to plan the shower and bachelorette, among other things. She lives outside of Boston, and the wedding is in New Hampshire, the Saturday of Thanksgiving weekend. She has her dress, and we've also selected bridesmaid dresses, which are from Alfred Angelo. They'll be navy blue.

I've come up with an idea for the theme for her shower, which I think will be really terrific. My mother loves it too. I've decided that it will remain a secret from her, and I'm going to see about keeping the date of the shower a date too, if possible! That date is not determined yet. Since I'm in DC, and she's in Boston, that could be a bit trickier, but we will see if I can pull that off.

I did manage one surprise already though!

The weekend of President's Day weekend, in February, she and my mother planned to go dress shopping. She asked me if I could come home for the weekend and go with them, but I had a baby shower that Saturday, so I couldn't. About a week before, I realized that weekend was actually Presidents Day, so I had Monday off from work, and they were planning to go shopping on Sunday. Ding ding ding! I had also just gotten my tax refund, so had some extra cash, and booked a flight home. I told my father, but nobody else. I flew in early Sunday morning and rented a car. As I pulled into my parents driveway, my mother was putting something into her car, and just looked up at me in shock. I parked the car, and explained what had happened, and she was so happy. We went to pick up my grandmother, who was also shocked. Then we drove to the bridal shop, where we told the saleswoman what was going on, and she loved it. I hid behind a rack of dresses, as we heard Bethany coming in. She came in, hugged my mother, grandmother and aunt, who was also there, and then they all began talking about what sort of dress she was looking for, and things she didn't want. I then jumped out, holding a really awful looking dress, and said "what about this one?" She was SO shocked, it was really great. I'll never forget the look on her face when she saw me!

So! She has a dress, we have dresses. She has a date and location set. Bridesmaids are selected. I have a date with one of them next week- she lives here in DC too, so we are getting together to talk ideas, which will be great. One of the bridesmaids is also getting married this fall- she is marrying Bethany's fiance's twin brother. Does that make sense?

So, now I am considering dates for the shower, and debating if the bachelorette should be the same weekend. In theory, yes, since most people will already be there (the shower will be in NH too), and I don't want people to have to travel too many times. Trying to keep people's budgets in mind isn't easy, but it isn't as though mine is limitless either!

So, what about you? Did your younger sister get married before you, and how did you deal with it? Am I awful for not screaming with joy when she called me with the news, even though I came around a few days later? Any tips for me?

a proposal, or lack thereof

Okay, I have a confession. I fear that I've turned into one of those girls. The ones that I scoffed at, thought were ridiculous and told myself that I would never become.

I'm talking about the girls who become crazy and obsessed with becoming engaged. You see, Steve and I have been together for more than five years and we are not engaged and do not live together. For a long time, it didn't bother me, because I knew it was coming. I said that I didn't want to live with him until we were married, but frankly, I never thought it would be five years later and no engagement. While I still do know that it is coming, I am beginning to get very frustrated with both him and myself, but mostly myself for letting myself get so crazy about it, because I swore I'd never let myself get this way (whoa, way too many "myselfs" in a row...).

Like I said, we talk about it, and I know it is coming, but I need to make myself stop focusing on this so much, the lack of a ring and keep in mind that he loves me and it will happen and that is the important thing. I tell myself not to bring it up, and sometimes I am very good. Sometimes though, I am not so good and something will pop out of my mouth before I realize it. Luckily, he doesn't seem to be bothered by this- he's so easy going, he just lets it slide, but I will admit, that sometimes I let it get the better of me and I turn into a crying, girly, ridiculous mess, and that my friends, isn't pretty and isn't the girl that I want to be.

So, any ideas on how I can stop the focusing on the bad and remember all of the good things about my relationship? There are plenty, and I know this. I know how much he loves and cares about me and that he does want to be with me when the time is right, which will be soon enough, when I stop acting like a crazy girl!

If you were together for a while before an engagement, did you act a little crazy sometimes? How did you keep your head together and not let your heart take over?

le sigh

Lizzie posted this ad yesterday. I think it is quite original and maybe slightly shocking (at first glance, it totally looks as though she's flipping you off, which is probably the point)

Like Lizzie said, I can totally relate.

(I may have said to Steve tonight that if he proposes by June, I could totally pull off a December 2009 wedding...we'll see if he comes through....)

here comes the bride

How long do you think an engagement should be, in reality? More then a year? Around a year? Less then a year? Could you pull off a wedding in less then six months and still be happy?

I’m not engaged (yeah, you knew that!). I was looking at the website for the place I am currently loving for a reception venue, and the list the available dates on the site. It turns out that Sunday, September 20, 2009 is still available, so I may have mentioned to Steve that if he wanted to propose likerightnow, we could get married then (he didn’t propose, obviously). I was telling a friend of mine this (who is engaged and getting married in October) and she said that there is no way I could pull this off because (mainly) I couldn’t find a dress in this amount of time and would need to buy off the rack (the horrors!). She thought I might not enjoy it as much, because I wouldn’t have all of the things I wanted, because there just wasn’t enough time.

So dear friends, what do you think? Would you be happy to plan a wedding in less then six months? How long was your engagement? Would you have wanted more or less time? Thoughts?

P.S. This is in no means being to belittling to any brides in the least! I’m sure I’d probably want more then six months, but I just think I could do it in less. Granted, I am not planning a wedding, so I could be way off :)

when will it be me?

Two more friends became engaged in the past two days.

Meaning two separate friends were proposed to by their boyfriends, two separate couples who don't know each other.

Why am I not engaged?

Sigh.

back to reality

I'm back at home in my little apartment. Steve and I had a nice weekend. I should point out that when he called Friday and told me to be ready at 8am, I wasn't entirely surprised, because we had been talking about going away for a night, but we never really made a decision about it. Our anniversary is this week (four years- ridiculous!), so we thought a night away might be nice- and it was!

As I pointed out,to him, I was ready at 7:50am (like this ever happens on work days!). He picked me up and we drove west. There was, of course, a hurricane heading this way, but we didn't let that discourage us. So, off we went, with a stop at Dunkin Donuts along the way.

Steve had made a reservation at a really nice b&b called Stone Manor in Lovettsville, VA, about an hour from DC. It's out past Leesburg, very close to the WV border. We stopped at several wineries along the way, trying reds and whites and roses at each, and of course, buying a few bottles at each! When we were out there, it was really raining for a while, and quite windy. At several of the wineries, we were the only ones there and the proprietors seemed surprised to hear that we made the trip out! A tree fell and brought some power lines down with it right by the b&b, which made getting there a bit tricky! Later in the afternoon, the rain had stopped and it wasn't so bad. Two of the wineries we went to had weddings there later! For dinner, we went to a really great restaurant called Magnolia's, in an old mill. It was really great. I had the fillet mignon, it was delish. We didn't get desert, because Steve had ordered champagne and chocolate for the room, which was nice! This morning, we had an AMAZING breakfast, prepared by Beth and Spencer, the owners. They had chocolate chip pancakes, buttescotch pancakes, quiche, scrambled eggs, bacon, sausage, carrot cake muffins, fruit salad and loads more! We left, and went to another vineyard (at 11am, haha!) and drove by a llama farm. We stopped by the outlets in Leesburg, but I didn't buy a single thing. There was nothing that I couldn't live without.

All in all, it was a really nice weekend. It's nice to get out of the city sometimes. You don't even need to go far to enjoy yourself. I highly recommend both the b&b and Magnolia's. If you ever need a getaway, take a look at Stone Manor. The prices are so reasonable too.

I'll be honest, I was hoping he had something sparkly tucked into his pocket, but not so much. Like I said, four years this week, so it's not like we've been together five minutes or anything! We do talk about it, and I know it's coming, but I'm beginning (or maybe not exactly beginning...) to get a bit impatient. I never wanted to be one of those girls who obsessed over when a ring was coming, but sometime I feel like I am becoming that girl that I used to hate, because I don't want to be her.

I'm not sure if I've mentioned it here, but Steve is in the process of buying a house. He actually closes on the house on 30 September. I have always been of the opinion that it is best (for me) to wait until marriage to live together. Again, I mean this for me personally. I think I am the only one of my friends who doesn't live with her boyfriend, and I am okay with that, this is what works for us and what is best. However, at this point, four years later, I'm not sure I want to wait at least another year, if not more, to live with him. I mean, even if we were engaged this week, it isn't like the wedding would be for another year, likely more. So, we decided that we may live together when we get engaged. I just hope that's soon.