friends to the end, not so much

Remember this post, where I talked about how I lost a friend? Since then, nothing has changed. She did one day reply to the facebook message I had sent, indicating that she removed me so that she wouldn't have to see photos of him in her news feed. This came after St. Patricks Day when a group of us went to a winery for an event there, an event that she was invited to as well. I told her that I understood, we exchanged a few messages and then they abruptly ended. We've had no contact since.

I decided to send her a Christmas card, just to let he know that I was thinking of her and hoping that she was doing well (I sent out a whopping four Christmas cards this year. Please don't hate me because you didn't get one! I'll be better next year, I promise).

While I was in NH and IA, I had the post office hold all of my mail and it was all delivered yesterday, most of it being Christmas cards. One of them was the card that I had sent her. It was unopened and on the front, she wrote "refused. return to sender."

Refused. My Christmas card was refused. Bah humbug indeed.

I couldn't believe it, and it made me a bit sad. Granted, I was not expecting a response from her, nor did I think we'd be friends again, but I certainly didn't think she would send it back. It just seemed a bit cold and harsh to me. I do understand that she's moved on and doesn't want to be reminded of him in any way, but regardless, I was still a bit hurt. If it were me, I would never refuse a card. I may not open it, I may hide it somewhere or just throw it away, but I would not refuse it.

Something like this happened to me once before, though I was on the other side. In college, I was good friends with a girl who shared the same name as me. We were good friends sophomore year and part of junior year and then something happened and we were no longer friends. I don't remember all of the details now, but it had to do with her lying to me and others, among other things. Just like that, we weren't friends. I went off to Luxembourg that spring and then I saw her sometimes during senior year, as we had the same major, so at least one class together. We didn't talk, but were cordial to one another. After graduation, I went off to Poland and when I came home for the holidays, I found that she had sent me a Christmas card. I remember being very surprised about it, but pleased, though I wasn't ready to reply to her at the time. I put it away somewhere with the intention of writing her later, but never did. I certainly didn't refuse the card. It just seems like extra effort to return it, instead of just letting it go.

Am I overreacting or taking this too personally? Have you ever been in a situation like this?

case of the ex, part two

I am not looking forward to tomorrow.

I am meeting her.

The ex.

The most hated ex (MHE).

Apparently she and her boyfriend are passing through DC tomorrow on their way to North Carolina, and are staying over for the night. At Steve's house, in the guest room. Yes, clearly I will be there too, ensuring that the bedroom doors are securely locked from the inside.

As I've said before, I have no desire whatsoever to know or even meet this girl. None. Yes, she's a friend of his, but I don't need anymore friends, especially not ones who have a past with my boyfriend. I know that I am hardly alone in feeling this way. I don't really want her staying over, but since it is his house, not mine, and I don't even live there, I really don't have much say in the matter.

Apparently she's really looking forward to meeting me.

Sorry, the feeling is not mutual.

Have you ever been in this situation? Any words of wisdom or advice for me?