Thursday, June 4, 2009

how to mend a broken friendship

CNN posted an article today about the breakup of a friendship, which came just as one of mine seems to have ended. While this friend wasn't my best friend, that didn't make it hurt it any less. I met her a few years ago, as she was dating a friend of Steve's. They'd had a rocky relationship over the course of the last few years and it ended finally in January. Insert- when I say finally, in this instance, I don't mean that to say it finally happened...I mean that they had broken up a few times and gotten back together, but this time, I'm pretty sure it is final. When it happened, she called, upset and crying, of course. I did my best to be supportive and in the aftermath, I sent emails and such, to see how she was and if she wanted to get together. She rarely replied. A few weeks ago, I was removed as a facebook friend. I sent her a message via fb and also an email, asking if I did something to upset her and never heard a word back. I thought about sending a card or something, or a longer email, but I don't know that I will. I'm sure she won't reply, which will just upset me all over again.

It makes me sad when these things happen, especially with no wrong-doing by anyone. I tried to be a good friend, and I thought I was, but as I've learned in life, you can't force a friendship. Have you read the poem, reason, season and lifetime friends? Here it is---

Reason, Season, or Lifetime

People come into your life for a reason, a season or a lifetime. When you figure out which one it is, you will know what to do for each person.

When someone is in your life for a REASON,it is usually to meet a need you have expressed. They have come to assist you through a difficulty; to provide you with guidance and support; to aid you physically, emotionally or spiritually. They may seem like a godsend, and they are. They are there for the reason you need them to be.

Then, without any wrongdoing on your part or at an inconvenient time,this person will say or do something to bring the relationship to an end. Sometimes they die. Sometimes they walk away. Sometimes they act up and force you to take a stand. What we must realize is that our need has been met, our desire fulfilled; their work is done. The prayer you sent up has been answered and now it is time to move on.

Some people come into your life for a SEASON, because your turn has come to share, grow or learn. They bring you an experience of peace or make you laugh. They may teach you something you have never done. They usually give you an unbelievable amount of joy. Believe it. It is real. But only for a season.

LIFETIME relationships teach you lifetime lessons; things you must build upon in order to have a solid emotional foundation. Your job is to accept the lesson, love the person,and put what you have learned to use in all other relationships and areas of your life. It is said that love is blind but friendship is clairvoyant.
— Unknown

I suppose all I can do is be thankful for the friendship we shared and be grateful for the season that she was a part of my life.


Mel said...

I had something similar happen and something way worse happen but there are a lot of variables that may have come into play.

I am currently cycling through friends as well and sometimes it works out for the best.

Jess said...

I'm sorry this happened. But I think you have good perspective on it.

xBiracialxBeautyx said...

sorry to hear that

Anonymous said...

Thank you for posting this. I too have been going through a friend breakup this year and it stinks. Sometimes you just have to be thankful and move on. Some people are meant to be in your life for certain reasons.

anOCgirl said...

i've been going through quite a few friend break ups lately so this post is rather timely for me. i just need to remind myself of this poem whenever i feel guilty about losing a friend. thanks for sharing.