friends to the end, not so much

Remember this post, where I talked about how I lost a friend? Since then, nothing has changed. She did one day reply to the facebook message I had sent, indicating that she removed me so that she wouldn't have to see photos of him in her news feed. This came after St. Patricks Day when a group of us went to a winery for an event there, an event that she was invited to as well. I told her that I understood, we exchanged a few messages and then they abruptly ended. We've had no contact since.

I decided to send her a Christmas card, just to let he know that I was thinking of her and hoping that she was doing well (I sent out a whopping four Christmas cards this year. Please don't hate me because you didn't get one! I'll be better next year, I promise).

While I was in NH and IA, I had the post office hold all of my mail and it was all delivered yesterday, most of it being Christmas cards. One of them was the card that I had sent her. It was unopened and on the front, she wrote "refused. return to sender."

Refused. My Christmas card was refused. Bah humbug indeed.

I couldn't believe it, and it made me a bit sad. Granted, I was not expecting a response from her, nor did I think we'd be friends again, but I certainly didn't think she would send it back. It just seemed a bit cold and harsh to me. I do understand that she's moved on and doesn't want to be reminded of him in any way, but regardless, I was still a bit hurt. If it were me, I would never refuse a card. I may not open it, I may hide it somewhere or just throw it away, but I would not refuse it.

Something like this happened to me once before, though I was on the other side. In college, I was good friends with a girl who shared the same name as me. We were good friends sophomore year and part of junior year and then something happened and we were no longer friends. I don't remember all of the details now, but it had to do with her lying to me and others, among other things. Just like that, we weren't friends. I went off to Luxembourg that spring and then I saw her sometimes during senior year, as we had the same major, so at least one class together. We didn't talk, but were cordial to one another. After graduation, I went off to Poland and when I came home for the holidays, I found that she had sent me a Christmas card. I remember being very surprised about it, but pleased, though I wasn't ready to reply to her at the time. I put it away somewhere with the intention of writing her later, but never did. I certainly didn't refuse the card. It just seems like extra effort to return it, instead of just letting it go.

Am I overreacting or taking this too personally? Have you ever been in a situation like this?