Wednesday, April 25, 2012

here comes the bride

No, it's not me.
My sister is engaged, and has been since late January, and yes, I am just now talking about it. I'll be 100% honest. Of course, I was thrilled for her, but I did not have the best reaction to her news. Here's the thing. She's my younger sister, by four years. Steve and I have been together for longer than she's known her fiance. I think it is perfectly natural for the older sister to feel like she should get married first, right? Right.
I had a few days of misery, and then I got over it. Something in my head snapped, and I realized that I was being ridiculous, and then I was happy for her. Really happy. She's happy, and that is what matters the most, right? Right.
As I said to her, this means that when I get married, she will have to be the matron of honor, which sounds much older and fuddy-duddy ish than maid of honor, I think ;)
Right, so as maid of honor, I have to plan the shower and bachelorette, among other things. She lives outside of Boston, and the wedding is in New Hampshire, the Saturday of Thanksgiving weekend. She has her dress, and we've also selected bridesmaid dresses, which are from Alfred Angelo. They'll be navy blue.
I've come up with an idea for the theme for her shower, which I think will be really terrific. My mother loves it too. I've decided that it will remain a secret from her, and I'm going to see about keeping the date of the shower a date too, if possible! That date is not determined yet. Since I'm in DC, and she's in Boston, that could be a bit trickier, but we will see if I can pull that off.
I did manage one surprise already though!
The weekend of President's Day weekend, in February, she and my mother planned to go dress shopping. She asked me if I could come home for the weekend and go with them, but I had a baby shower that Saturday, so I couldn't. About a week before, I realized that weekend was actually Presidents Day, so I had Monday off from work, and they were planning to go shopping on Sunday. Ding ding ding! I had also just gotten my tax refund, so had some extra cash, and booked a flight home. I told my father, but nobody else. I flew in early Sunday morning and rented a car. As I pulled into my parents driveway, my mother was putting something into her car, and just looked up at me in shock. I parked the car, and explained what had happened, and she was so happy. We went to pick up my grandmother, who was also shocked. Then we drove to the bridal shop, where we told the saleswoman what was going on, and she loved it. I hid behind a rack of dresses, as we heard Bethany coming in. She came in, hugged my mother, grandmother and aunt, who was also there, and then they all began talking about what sort of dress she was looking for, and things she didn't want. I then jumped out, holding a really awful looking dress, and said "what about this one?" She was SO shocked, it was really great. I'll never forget the look on her face when she saw me!
So! She has a dress, we have dresses. She has a date and location set. Bridesmaids are selected. I have a date with one of them next week- she lives here in DC too, so we are getting together to talk ideas, which will be great. One of the bridesmaids is also getting married this fall- she is marrying Bethany's fiance's twin brother. Does that make sense?
So, now I am considering dates for the shower, and debating if the bachelorette should be the same weekend. In theory, yes, since most people will already be there (the shower will be in NH too), and I don't want people to have to travel too many times. Trying to keep people's budgets in mind isn't easy, but it isn't as though mine is limitless either!
So, what about you? Did your younger sister get married before you, and how did you deal with it? Am I awful for not screaming with joy when she called me with the news, even though I came around a few days later? Any tips for me?


Annie said...

Ummm I think it's super awesome that you surprised her and went dress shopping!

It's natural for you to feel the way you do about her getting engaged first. Just be confident that you and Steve are making the right decisions for yourselves and not doing it because that's what you're "supposed to do." Ya know?

I know what you mean though, people that have dated a lot less time than us have already gotten married and some are even pregnant. Super weird but whatever haha!

Katelin said...

aw sounds like you're doing a great job as MOH so far and love that you surprised her for the dress fitting, so cute. and i can't really speak to the younger sister getting married first since i got married first, but i think it would have been a little weird. matt got married before his older brother but we'd also been together and known each other longer than his brother and now wife.

anyhoo, yay weddings!

Elle said...

No, you definitely are not awful for feeling less-than-thrilled when you heard the news. I can TOTALLY relate, even though my guy and I are younger siblings ourselves.

We began dating at 17 (we are now25) and his brother (who no one ever thought would get married) is 26. Within the span of 5 months, my bf's brother met, moved in with, proposed to (in that order) a girl who had just moved out of her girlfriend's apartment. (And I don't mean a girl who is a friend.)

They moved in to my bf's vacated grandparents' house at a super discount and this new girl got the grandmother's heirloom engagement ring that I've been hearing about since I was 18.

So please don't feel like you're alone. I don't have any tips, unfortunately, but you're better than me - I found out Feb. 1 and still can't seem to get my head around it.

Best of luck!! xx

eas said...

I think most people would feel the same way. Don't feel bad-I think it's nice you're being honest about it.

Vienna! Have you been? It's so little and quaint, but so close to DC!

Meg @ write meg! said...

Can definitely relate to the sister issue -- and just that feeling in general. I've actually gotten to the point that I rarely log into Facebook because I'm so envious/annoyed/jealous/whatever of seeing everyone's super awesome baby/engagement/wedding news and photos. I guess that's a little petty of me, but I realized I was actually getting upset when I logged into Facebook... so I'm putting a stop to that.

As Annie said above, just wrapping our minds around the fact that we're making the right decisions for us right now is all we can do. A friend of mine met his girlfriend, proposed, had their first child and now have gotten married in the years in which Spencer and I have been dating. But that's them and not me... all things in time!