Wednesday, July 28, 2010

on wedding gifts

A few weeks ago, Steve and I went home to NH for the wedding of an old friend. She and I have been friends since we were little girls, and her parents and mine are also friends. I suppose you could call them family friends, as there are a few other families that fall into this "group," if you will; all of us being mutual family friends.


She and her husband are preparing to move to Alaska, as he will begin a Ph.D. program in Fairbanks this fall. They are driving from NH, with all of their belongings in a truck behind them (what an amazing adventure that will be, eh?!). They registered at Macys, but asked for gift cards, rather than actual gifts, as they wouldn't be able to transport them easily, due to limited space in the already full truck. I didn't go home for the bridal shower, but she did have one, and I suppose everyone just gave her gift cards.

Like me, my mother isn't big on registries (maybe I get it from her?), so she decided to make them a quilt (I get the quilting from my mum for sure!). She told the bride's mother of this, to be sure that the bride would like it, and the MOB assured my mother that the bride would love it. So, my mother picked out some fabrics in her favorite colors (red, orange and yellow! it is bright!) and made a big, gorgeous quilt for the bride and groom.

She finished it and called the bride (the bride knew about the quilt anyway- when my mother brought a card to the wedding, she put a few scraps of each fabric into the envelope, so the bride could see!). My mother wanted to bring the quilt by, so that the bride and groom could take it with them to Alaska.

The bride told my mother that there was no room in the truck and could she please mail it to them once they arrive in Alaska next month. My mother was a bit hurt by this. She understands that they don't have much room to deal with, of course, but really? Asking to mail it?

My mother actually folded up the quilt and put it into one of those special bags and sucked the air out! The entire quilt is now one inch thick! This could easily be slid under a car seat, right?

If you were driving from New Hampshire to Alaska, wouldn't you want a big, cozy quilt with you in the car?! When Steve and I drive to/from NH or Iowa, I love having a cozy quilt with me, to curl up in, especially at night!

Would you really want a handmade quilt mailed across and over an entire country? I do love the USPS, but I wouldn't want to take my chances with such an heirloom!

What do you think?


Jennifer said...

Hummmmm...that is a toughie. I think I would be put off by this. I know she didn't mean anything by it, but it makes the giver feel like you don't appreciate the time, energy, and thought that went into the gift. I guess I would just mail it and be done with it and let it go, but I think the Bride should have just said thank you and made room for it. I mean, there must be some room for a 1 inch thick quilt?!?! I would not feel comfortable with mailing it...I would get insurance and all that stuff...but then even if it got lost, it wouldn't replace it and that is costing your mom even more money in the end. And making a quilt with nice fabrics is not cheap in the first place. I think the Bride reacted wrong and should have taken it. Sorry for your mom having to take her chances with the mail. You should snap a picture before she mails it if you can!!! I want to see her handiwork!

Elizabeths Attic said...

As someone older and from the UK which is a small country by comparison I would tell you mum to hang on to the quilt or give it to the brides mum and ask her to take it when visiting or just keep it until the 'happy' if insensitive couple come home to visit. On no account would I post the quilt to her.... but then again thats just me. I wish someone would have made me a quilt when I got married over 100 years ago.... I would have moved every box in the car to make room...
Beverley (UK)

Meg said...

One inch?! Oh my. Yes, I would be a bit offended if I was asked to mail something carefully crafted with love and care for the bride and groom across the country!

Aside from the fact that it'll likely not to be cheap to mail something heavy, it just feels... rude. Like a slap in the face, basically, and I agree with Jennifer above -- like you don't appreciate the time it took to craft it. I would have just taken the quilt, said a gracious thank you and figured out what to do with it later... if I truly couldn't pack it in a truck (seriously, no room for one quilt?), I'd have mailed it myself -- at my own expense.

Katelin said...

i would say that since your mom put it in an air tight thing and that the bride knew your mom was making it that she should be able to find a small place for it. and i totally agree, i'd want a big blanket with me on a move too, make it a bit more comfy!

Mel said...

hmmm... give it to her mom and have her keep it. I am sure her mom is either going to visit or send other stuff there too.

Or send it to me. I will pay for the post and insurance ;).

Anonymous said...

Did you make a quilt too for their wedding gift? Maybe she doesn't want 2 in the van., I think that it's a gift and not about the gift giver's desires...