Monday, February 9, 2009

I'm sinking slowly, so hurry hold me

It's not even 6am and I've already been awake for more then an hour. This can't be a good omen for the day. I spent much of last night in tears about, well, everything and I don't know how to make it go away. I don't know how the weekend, which started off so nicely, went down the drain by mid-Sunday.

My tax refund arrived in my checking account Friday morning, along with my normal pay for the week (yes, I get paid weekly and no, it isn't as nice as it sounds), so after I work, I may have stopped by H&M. Finding nothing, I walked to Ann Taylor Loft in Chinatown and picked up a few things. This was after paying off a credit card (good work, Lexi) and calling World Vision to send an extra donation to my girls. I spent the rest of my Friday night reading a new book that came out this week and I'd been waiting rather impatiently for. Saturday I went to the VA Wine Expo with Steve and Magda, where I bought about 18 bottles of wine after being mistaken for her mother. Yes, some old broad pouring merlot told Magda that she didn't look old enough to be drinking and that her mother looked young too. We both were a bit confused until we realized that she meant me. She then tried to backtrack by asking if I was her sister, but the damage was done. THAT MUST BE BECAUSE I'M NOT HER MOTHER, YOU JERK! I had a birthday two weeks ago. I wasn't too bothered by turning 29, but apparently I need to invest in some wrinkle cream. We quickly left that winery's table, forgoing the rest of the wine they were offering.

Sunday included a trip to Target, the grocery store and the Washington Animal Rescue League where I fell in love with several puppies, but didn't take any home with me. After that, it was all downhill. I don't know what is wrong with me, but this stress needs to go away and I don't know how to get rid of it. I can't talk to my mother or to Steve without ending up in tears. My grandmother had heart surgery last week; it went well and she's recovering nicely. I wanted to fly home this weekend, but my parents told me not to. I hate being so far from home, especially during times like this. I want to be there when my family needs me and I want my godson to know who I am. This is my last semester of school and I feel like it may never end. I have so much work to do and I don't know when it will get finished. I am so sick of my tiny apartment, but the idea of moving to a new one makes me cringe. Everything is making me crazy right now.

I think I need a corgi to make it better.


Janssen said...

I'm sorry to hear things went downhill - I hate that!

magda said...

HANG IN THERE LEX!! I know exactly how you feel; I have days like that, where no matter what's going on, I just feel sad. The good part about these down-times is that they HAVE to start going up, at some point. It's like this time of year: it's starting to look sunny and you know it's coming, but you still need your gloves and you can see your breath.

Drinks soon, xx.

ps. that wine lady was demented.

Sarah said...

Aww hon, sorry you're feeling down.

You DO NOT look like a mom, so don't sweat that :)

And I agree - you do need a puppy to cheer you up (or at least to eat your shoes and distract you from the sadness)

Mel said...

Those people who are trying to sell you things are talking out of their butt.

It will all work out one way or another.

Sara said...

We ALL have days and weeks like this. Hang in there, it will get better.

Jess said...

I'm so sorry that you're dealing with so much stress right now. I know that you'll pull through and I hope it happens soon.

La Petite Belle said...

Ohhhh hon I'm so sorryyy!! It's all going to be ok, I promise.