in a tizzy

There are a million emotions running through my head right now, all pertaining to engagements, weddings and babies, none of which are mine. I am trying to sort through them all, but I'm finding that I am not sure how to take some of it, if that makes any sense at all (unlikely). Of course, it doesn't help that last night, like a moth to a flame, I watched The Bachelorette followed by ABC's new (and ridiculous) show called Here Come the Newlyweds. I need to stop obsessing over something that some days, I feel like may never come (though I do know otherwise) because I hate the fact that I've become that girl.

Over the weekend, I learned that there will be a surprise 30th birthday party next month for one of my oldest and dearest friends. I want to be there with every part of me, and I am scrounging through my finances to see if it will allow (while deep down, I know it is unlikely). June is just the beginning of the next six months, full of weddings, bridal showers, family events, bachelorettes and such. Of course, the weekend before the 30th fiesta, we have wedding of the season numero uno, in Iowa, of course, where it is not exactly cheap to fly to. Maybe I am spoiled by having fantastic flights to Manchester via Southwest (I adore them, I do), so any flight, anywhere domestic, over $200 seems insanely expensive to me, when I do know it isn't, at all, in the least. It is days like this when I hate being so far from home and the ones who mean the most in this world.

Last night, I was jolted out of bed about 3am from a monstrous crack of thunder/lightning. I jumped about three feet in the air and never really got back to sleep after that. Being this tired causes me to think too much, and we all know that that's never good.